| I am a big game show enthusiast. I love watching all | | | | the channels-after all I had a sportscar of my own and |
| the old favorites: The Price is Right, Let's Make a Deal, | | | | thus a place of honor among the big ballers. |
| and even reruns of the Gong Show. | | | | At 11:00pm the local news came on with a special alert. |
| One day I was chillin' at the pad and it suddenly hit | | | | A rare bird had escaped from the zoo earlier that |
| me-why shouldn't I be a contestant? It would be a | | | | evening and was on the loose somewhere in my part |
| dream come true and there would be a chance for | | | | of town. The bird was easily recognized by its colorful |
| instant fame and even a jackpot of prizes. | | | | plumage and acidic droppings. I started to doze off as |
| So the next time my favorite came show "So You | | | | the anchorman's words echoed through my |
| Want to Win a Corvette" came to town, I was first in | | | | head....acidic droppings...acidic droppings... |
| line and sure enough I was selected! I used all my wiles | | | | I woke with a start in the midst of a nightmare. |
| and guiles answering question after question until I | | | | "Acidic droppings!" I shrieked. "Nooooooo!" |
| came to the final round. The host looked me in the eye | | | | I leapt off the sofa and ran out the door. There in the |
| and asked me the difficult jackpot question: | | | | driveway sat my beloved prize, but there was |
| "General Motors produces the Corvette under which | | | | something wrong. The entire car was sizzling and |
| brand?" | | | | giving off smoke from its surfaces. I heard a loud |
| I racked my brains for 10 straight minutes but finally | | | | 'squawk' and beheld the culprit taking wing after so |
| spoke up in a trembling voice: | | | | devastatingly performing its unholy act. |
| "Chevrolet?" | | | | It took a fortune to restore the car to its former glory, |
| The audience roared with excitement and confetti | | | | but I learned my lesson and bought a car cover. |
| rained down upon the set. | | | | Though perhaps nothing in the world would protect |
| I had won a fully equipped 'vette of my own! | | | | against unprovoked acts of bird, a car cover it would |
| I parked the beauty in my driveway and went inside to | | | | surely keep my Corvette safe from the normal |
| watch some TV. I felt quite content as I flipped through | | | | elements in the future. |